To understand

To understand my mind i guess you need to understand what i see to remember what i do. To understand me even when i don't make any sense at all Because there hasn't been much sense to my life And i doubt there ever will be...

“Yes I’m afraid!” She screamed, running to the other side of the room. “Afraid of what?” “You!” She through the large wooden jewlery box against her reflection, shattering herself into thousands of pieces. she fell to her knees in the glass, cleaning up the evidence of her lost sanity. “You break everything” The pieces screamed at her. “Only what needs to be broken.” not bothering about cutting herself each piece was tossed away, and with it a mocking remark from every slither.

yelling

Internally i cover my ears. My eye lids work to keep me sane. my fist clench’s Everything is stiff except the beating in my chest that cracks at words.

Waiting still

I miss you, i wish you would find me, I hope you think of me, you see- i don’t blame you for never meeting you, i know it’s not your fault. It’s no ones fault really… I’m okay, really. i know you worry and with good reason, but i’ve been hanging on, always. I have sisters! you’d be proud of all of them, their beautiful and nothing like me at all… I miss those days we never had. You teaching me how to fight, me loosing in tickle fights, our trips to get bagels and hot chocolate, taking me to dinner for my first date, playing board games with me, all that stuff i guess…Is it possible to miss something you never had? I miss being excited to see you when you got home, wanting to tell you all about my day, i miss knowing how much you loved me and that never changing. I’m scared every day now, i can’t. Please find me one day. I’ve been waiting 18 years.