Waiting still

I miss you, i wish you would find me, I hope you think of me, you see- i don’t blame you for never meeting you, i know it’s not your fault. It’s no ones fault really… I’m okay, really. i know you worry and with good reason, but i’ve been hanging on, always. I have sisters! you’d be proud of all of them, their beautiful and nothing like me at all… I miss those days we never had. You teaching me how to fight, me loosing in tickle fights, our trips to get bagels and hot chocolate, taking me to dinner for my first date, playing board games with me, all that stuff i guess…Is it possible to miss something you never had? I miss being excited to see you when you got home, wanting to tell you all about my day, i miss knowing how much you loved me and that never changing. I’m scared every day now, i can’t. Please find me one day. I’ve been waiting 18 years.