Exsistence

“I’m sorry, today is just very crazy, would you mind going home?” the mother had asked me as the kids ran around the room. I had wondered if my father had been speaking to her, if they had been hoping that her son and I would spend less time together.

I respected her, and would obey her wishes. I had just driven 5 hours to be there and looked at my watch, I had just gotten. It had a button that would switch the time zone, so I could always see what time it was for him in Philly… 12:12. I could make it back before it even starts getting dark.

I walked into the next room and hugged him. It was always hard letting go but I managed to tear my self away “I’ll see you soon” he nodded in agreement, his face lightening the mood with a famous smile that consumed his face. Our hands broke apart and the door shut behind me.



I had this weird feeling about leaving “just a few more…minutes” my mind told me “stay, you have time.” I didn’t want to disobey the wishes of his parents so I left. I got into my car and began to drive, trying to keep my eyes from tearing up “you will see him again” I told myself.



It was snowing so all the roads had been fairly empty; there was very little traffic. As I drove onto the highway, I noticed there was no traffic in the oncoming lane as well; in fact there were no cars at all. Along with a very small amount of cars that drove along side me, things began increasing as we went over the bridge, out of Philly and into Baltimore.



I pulled over at a motel my sister had been staying at. She was visiting some friends and I had planned to pick her up the next day but came a bit early. She hugged me and dragged me inside. We sat down in the dim room and talked for maybe 6 minutes before I wondered if the time had changed. I didn’t know there was a time change between Baltimore and Philly…. but it felt like there was. I looked down and pushed the small time lapse button on my watch.



Philly time appeared within seconds. Snow had covered the inside of my watch to show the season and the arrow had stopped at 1:00. All the other hours had jumped off. 12 stood. But all the other times were missing 2, 3, 4, est. they were all gone. My chest tightened. I didn’t know how I knew but my mind figured it out before I could make sense of the senseless. For some reason Philly was gone. Destroyed. Time had stopped there and it would never reach 2.



Since we were driving back in time I looked down at my watch and switched it back to the time I was in 12:45. I grabbed my sister’s arm and told her to start typing in our address into the GPS. If we drove fast we would be losing time. I should have stayed. I should have stayed just a little while longer, to had been in the same place, but now I wasn’t with him anymore. I had my sister who was someone I had to keep safe. My mind was heavy and the tears blurred my vision made it difficult to focus on what was next. I wanted so badly to wait for the clock to strike 1 in Baltimore. I felt assured that if she weren’t with me, I would have. We began running out to our car when a man stopped us. He was wearing a black coat and held a knife. “You can’t leave”

“I want to go back” the truth of my thoughts had escaped my throat, even though I was planning to move forward, I wanted oh so baldy to go back. He glared at me as I pulled my sister behind me protectively. “There is no back. You can’t travel back in time. You can only move forward” His eyes seemed to pop from his face as he spoke, emphasizing certain words and waving the knife around.



“Then let us go that direction,” I said pointing to be we was gesturing.

“No” he blanketed the statement, as he swung his knife, it slashed across my right arm.

“That was a step forward! No more steps!”

I knew his intentions and so did my sister as she dodged around me and headed for the car, he turned to her confuse. For another moment time had moved forward in a current of events. I didn’t let the opportunity pass as I lunged on our distracted attacker.

“You want time to stop?“

I asked, lodging his own knife into his chest “done”

Chills ran up my spine as I stumbled backwards “We have to go” my sister uttered. I knew this. I got up and walked into the car. My vision grew even foggier with every mile. Finally, we reached the bridge. It towered over about a mile of water and would bring us so close to home. But half way across it was blocked off. A giant van of people refused to let anyone go by. We had to get off and move. I was careful to stay away from the edge of the bridge. We would die the moment we hit the water, it would be like falling on concrete. I walked up to the people on the bridge. “Let us pass, please”

“Let me see your hand” the man asked. I stretched out my arm and revealed my hand. It was still bleeding from the earlier attack. “You don’t exist. Jump off the bridge.”

“Excuse me?” I said. “Listen, we just came from Philly and we were attacked in Baltimore-“

“You came from where?” he interrupted

“Philadelphia” I said as his eyes showed no recognition. “There is no such place” he shook it off and began ignoring me.

My head was spinning as I grabbed his arm “Please!” I pleaded, “I just left my boyfriend and his family there”

He looked down at me, showing no pity “they don’t exist, now do what’s best for all of us” he directed me to the edge of the bridge, I saw my sister as well be brought aside me. I looked down at the choppy water, the waves seemed so small from this height. The wind thrashed my hair in different directions. I wish I could fly. “There’s no time like the present,” I whispered to myself. No. I wouldn’t, not like this.

“Go on now, your wasting what little time I have”

“No”

“Its time for you to go. He doesn’t exist…so what’s the point?”

“If he doesn’t exist and I don’t exist then…exactly, what is the point?”

“Enough” he said picking me up and throwing me over the edge.



“Hello?” my tired voice creaked from my newly awakened throat.

“Hey beautiful” the other end of my phone rang. What perfect timing I thought in the whiplash of waking up from the nightmare

“Were you still asleep?” he asked

“Yea…I must have slept in really late,” I thought looking around for a clock

“No, its only 9:30, still in the single digits! You still got time!” he said in a joyful voice.

“Yea…. I do”

How about that…I thought

It felt like id been gone for days, funny how dreams have a way of…losing you in time.